Written by: David J. Volk, Esq. | January 19, 2017
You can learn in all settings. I heard an amazing thought in a movie trailer. A person said to his friend, enthusiastically and with complete conviction, "my friend, you do not step in to love. You fall in to it with all of your being." Those amazing words ring true in much more than personal relationships. Fall enthusiastically in to everything that is important.
Just remember, YOU OWN YOUR LIFE! What happens to us, how we feel and what we achieve or suffer is primarily driven by us and not someone else. To think otherwise is to accept being a victim or thinking of yourself in that way. This does not mean bad things will never happen if you care about something. They will. This is about committing to a path. If you want to succeed at anything, you need to figure out what is required and commit to it. Make it important to you, and pursue it with all the passion you can give. Fall in to it with all of your being. If you make a mistake or have a setback, let it teach you and inspire you to work harder. Matt Lauer said in a recent interview of George Bush, “A smart man once said, ‘we live our life looking forward, we learn from it looking back'.”
We do better at things that are important to us. So ask “How important is it to me that I get it or keep it?" If it is important and you keep reminding yourself of that, you will work hard for it. Figure out the "What do I need to do to get it or keep it?” Don't lose sight of that keep it part. A lot of achievements and blessings are squandered because they get taken for granted while we obsess on what we do not have. Then, you work at it to keep it or get it until it happens. You might have to make adjustments to your efforts. It is a never ending journey. Being happy or awesome is not a destination. It is something we need to work on…all the time…maybe in different ways and for different reasons. Still, all the time.
Life-long learners are more successful at getting what they want. Let me give you one concrete step you should take. Read more. Brilliant authors will hand you keys to unlock the doors that block your progress. So many books, so little time! I have read a lot of books by inspirational speaker and writer, Wayne Dyer. He is a magnificent individual who generates enthusiasm and confidence. This book is a great starting point: Excuses Begone! By Wayne Dyer.
I often buy Kindle books through Amazon because of the convenience, because a lot of people write summaries and reviews of the books, and that it makes deciding whether to buy a book a lot easier. You can also ‘Look Inside’ a lot of the books to read the first few pages. I went through quite a few of the reviews to put together the following outline of Excuses Begone! (No, don’t just read the outline! You have to read the book to fully understand what he is telling us.)
Dyer says that learning to stop making excuses is easy, and can lead to happiness and success. The book integrates Dyer’s study of the Tao Te Ching (which is a great set of principles for leading a well ordered positive life) and other spiritual sources with new research and a growing understanding of how the mind works, including that you can even change your DNA, to help you shift conditioned ways of being to a more conscious and spiritually‑aligned existence.
Old habits don’t have to be forever. Taking charge of one’s thoughts can put an end to stubborn self‑defeating behavior once‑and‑for‑all. As he says in the Excuses Begone program shown on PBS, a habit is not something you throw out the window. It is a staircase you go down one step at a time.
Citing compelling science and studies, including Bruce Lipton's research proving that genes are far from destiny, and that our beliefs influence even our genes. This is truly the foundation for a "no excuses" paradigm.
18 typical excuses are presented. It will be difficult, risky, take too long, create family drama; I don't deserve it; it's against my nature; I can't afford it (surely a popular one today!); no one will help me; it's not happened before; I'm not strong/smart enough; I'm too old/too young; the rules/laws won't let me; it's too big; I don't have the energy/time; it's in my family history; I'm afraid.
Even ingrained patterns of excuse‑making rooted in childhood development and habitual thinking can be consciously exchanged for an empowered, excuse‑free way of living. Dyer sees excuses as mind viruses that worm their way into every aspect of life and can seem hopelessly entrenched. They can be eradicated by adhering to seven basic principles and asking seven questions.
The Seven Principles of Excuses Begone!
Awareness - Be aware of excuse‑making and the places where thoughts of failure arise as barriers to doing something. Practicing staying open to possibilities rather than focusing on perceived limitations helps remove the tendency to make excuses.
Alignment - Excuses don’t exist when you align with the essence of your essential nature. Focusing on what is desired rather than what is lacking, and what is possible rather than calling something impossible stops excuses from arising.
Now - Become a master at the art of being present to life. It can end excuse‑making.
Contemplation - Think about possibilities rather than impossibilities, fairness rather than unfairness, and what’s right instead of what’s wrong. This shifts thoughts from excuses to action.
Willingness - Be willing to take full responsibility for all the conditions of your life and shed reluctance to do what might be necessary to make dreams come true.
Passion - Focusing on the things in life that generate passion and vigorous enthusiasm. Life needs meaning.
Compassion - Choosing a life filled with service to others leaves no room for blame. Shifting to a perspective of compassion and kindness crowds out excuses.
Getting Rid of Excuses
Dyer provides seven questions and a summation of the Excuses Begone! principles for each in order to outgrow the need to ever use an excuse again.
Summing up, figure out what you want then fall in to it with all of your being. Make it important and disregard the excuses you come up with as to why you won’t succeed. Visualize where you want to go and enthusiastically start the journey.
The matters discussed here are general in nature and are not to be relied upon as legal advice. Every specific legal matter requires specific legal attention.
The law is constantly changing and matters discussed today may not be the same tomorrow. Legal matters are also subject to different interpretations by attorneys, judges, jurors and scholars. No attorney-client relationship is intended or created as a result of matters discussed here. You should consult counsel of your choice if you have any dealings in these areas of the law. Volk Law Offices, P.A. and its attorneys make no representations or warranties with respect to the accuracy or completeness of the matters addressed.